Entry tags:

fics, jared/jensen, rps

Fic: Near-Life Experience, 4/4
Title: Near-Life Experience
Author: salixbabylon
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 5467 (17,261 total)
Disclaimer: No offense meant at all to the real guys. This is just fiction, people.

Summary: Sometimes it only takes one phone call to change your entire life...
Written for the spn_comingclean challenge.

Notes: Love love love for sarka, for listening, reading, and removing one hundred thousand commas. (I only put a few of them back in. *g*)

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

Near-Life Experience


The next few days were actually pretty fucking funny, in retrospect. They did not talk about their phone call, but it ended up being so obvious that they were avoiding talking about something that it was a wasted effort.

Jared actually thought it was amusing right now. The way Jensen tried so hard to act like everything was just fine but flinched every time Jared touched him during blocking rehearsal was fucking priceless. He should have tried something like this on his friend before as a prank.

But then again, he didn't really feel like pranking about something like this. Yeah, it had been kind of a joke, but it was still damn hot and he did want Jensen. So while it wasn't very flattering that it had obviously fucked with Jen's head, maybe it wasn't a bad thing that it wasn't just a joke and jerk, that there was a little more to it than just getting off.

It had been really good: surprisingly erotic, and by far the best phone sex Jared had ever had. They hadn't even talked each other through it much, or talked dirty, but it was still hot. Jensen's sex-voice was incredible; just the memory of his moans made Jared's cock twitch in his jeans whenever he thought about it. So yeah, maybe the timing was bad but he definitely wanted Jensen. And he was getting the idea that Jensen wanted him too. The thought made Jared's entire body feel tingly.

And then somehow, without him paying it much thought, the days passed and it was Monday. Time to go back to the clinic and get their test results.

The hours between realizing that today was the day and actually getting to the clinic were just about the worst Jared could remember in recent history, and certainly his worst day on-set for "Supernatural." He fumbled his lines, dropped Sam's gun twice, hit Jensen in the head when he tossed him a flashlight, and tripped over everything - including his feet, a throw rug in the "hotel," and, apparently, air.

Everyone within a three-mile radius seemed to be pissed off at him by the time Bob threw up his hands and called a halt for their lunch break. Jared wanted to apologize for being so unprofessional, but he couldn't. It was time to go, like now, and he was afraid he was going to hurl if he opened his mouth.

Thank God Jensen was driving.

Jared almost hyperventilated on the ride over. Jensen looked tense as well but seemed more caught between being annoyed at Jared for fucking up their entire morning of work and sympathetic because he knew the reason why.

They were a couple of minutes past their appointment time and were shown into the little closet-sized rooms right away. The woman confirmed that his identification number matched the one her forms were for, talked to him a little bit, handed him some paperwork, and two minutes later was shoving a nauseous Jared out the door.

This time, though, it was from relief – he was negative.

He didn't have HIV.

The bone- and soul-deep release from worry and the sudden drain of sick fear that had been tormenting him for the last two weeks made his legs turn into Jell-O and his head spin. Despite the fact that he hadn't passed out when they took his blood two weeks ago, he actually did get so dizzy leaving the cubicle that he stumbled and had to sit down in the lobby for a few moments, now that it was all over.

He was clean.

*****

After a long afternoon of apologies for the shitty morning and trying to work at breakneck speed to get through the scenes they were supposed to finish for the day, Jared was exhausted. He felt drained past all his usual reserves of energy, but also strangely exhilarated, now that it was all over. When Jensen asked if he wanted to go out and grab a few drinks before heading home it seemed like the best idea ever.

Clumsily pushing Jensen against the side of his SUV and kissing him until there was no beer flavor left, just hot and wet and Jensen, seemed like an ever better idea, several hours later.

The best idea Jared had ever had in the history of everything, maybe. No - definitely.

Eventually, Jensen untangled their arms and pushed Jared back enough to get some air. "Gonna have to stop, Jay. Not a good place for this."

Jared grinned and knew it looked idiotic, despite him being totally drunk off his ass. Or perhaps because of it. "Take me home then?" he leered.

Jensen made a quiet, lustful noise and got them into the truck and heading home before Jared could do much more than blink. Unfortunately, once they got inside, the dogs jumped all over them both and Jensen had to go and start thinking again – Jared could tell because his forehead got all scrunched up and his eyes lost that unfocused glaze they got when they'd been making out for a while. Jared loved that glaze. He wanted to see it every fucking day if he could.

Taking matters into his own hands, Jared shoved Jensen against the wall and kissed him again. He was really loving this thing where he got to manhandle Jen, push him against hard surfaces, hold him there and kiss the hell out of him, he reflected with the part of his brain that hadn't yet located itself in his dick.

After that, though, there was no more blood left to fuel any such thoughts, because Jensen was kissing him, pulling him close, grabbing his ass, licking into his mouth. And making the most goddamned arousing little noises Jared had ever heard. A really good one - kind of a gasp and a groan mixed together - broke free of Jensen's throat when Jared licked down his stubbled jawbone and pressed his hips forward to grind their hard cocks together through their jeans.

Man, Jensen was just the sexiest thing Jared had ever been this close to.

Jensen chuckled. "I'm flattered, stud, but maybe we can move this to some place less vertical, huh?"

"I like the way you think," Jared grinned, not embarrassed at all to be caught thinking out loud, and grabbed Jen's hand to yank him down the hall to the bedroom. He got both their shirts off, toed off his own shoes, and sat down to get his socks when he noticed Jensen was just standing there, watching.

"What?"

"Just admiring the view," Jensen grinned.

"You've seen it before."

Shaking his head slowly, Jensen let his eyes linger on all the broad planes of Jared's torso. "Not like this, I haven't."

Jared grinned and stretched back on the bed, sliding his hands down to the waist of his jeans. "C'mere, and you can do a whole lot more than just look," he promised.

"Tempting," Jensen said, but didn't move.

Jared rolled his eyes and stretched a leg out, hooking his foot behind Jensen's knee and tugging until Jen was forced to take a step forward. His resistance seemed to crumble after that. Seconds later he was crouched on top of Jared, straddling his hips and looking down at him like a starving man at a buffet.

Another moment passed. Jared quirked an eyebrow, wondering why Jen wasn't moving. Jensen huffed and gave a slight shake of his head, then bent to suck Jared's soul right out of his mouth like some damned Incubus or something. Not that Jared was protesting; his soul seemed like a pretty good deal for kisses like that. Their tongues tangled, the kiss deep and wet and lasting for an eternity.

He gave way willingly, letting Jensen be in control and take what he wanted while Jared just gave it up and moaned like a whore, wrapping his arms around Jensen, kneading the strong muscles on his shoulders, back, biceps, hips, and ass. Nice, firm, round ass. Jared squeezed it again, pulling Jensen down closer for a better grip and found that this had the added benefit of giving him something to rub against.

Namely, Jensen's cock.

Through his jeans, though, and that was no good at all. Why were they still wearing clothes? Now he'd have to let go and untangle before they could get them off and that sucked.

Jensen laughed from somewhere near his throat. "Man, do you ever shut up?"

"Yeah, when I sleep. I think. Now get off me and get naked, jerk," Jared huffed.

Giving him a fond look, Jensen withdrew enough to wiggle his jeans off in an amusingly effective little shimmy. When he pushed off his boxers as well and then moved back far enough that Jared could get a really good look, Jared couldn't hold back a groan. Without thinking, he reached for his jeans and four hands fumbled together, getting the rest of the clothes out of the way.

And then they were naked. Together. They'd been naked together before, of course, and even horsed around in swimming pools mostly-naked, but this? This was different. This was naked and aroused and breathing hard and lips still slick with the taste of each others' mouths.

This was awesome.

It got even better when Jensen crawled back on top of him and pressed their bodies together from chest to thigh, cocks sliding next to each other, skin everywhere. Jensen kissed him breathless, kissed him until Jared couldn't help but grab Jen's ass again and start thrusting up. A warning bite on his jaw wasn't really the deterrent Jensen appeared to think it might be; it made Jared's dick leak instead, and he moaned, wanting to lose himself in this.

"What do you want?" Jensen asked, lips moving against his throat.

Jared swallowed. He wanted everything. But he was still drunk, more on sex than booze at this point, but if they were going to fuck, he wanted to be sober enough to be really good at it. There was something, though, that he'd been thinking about ever since their phone call.

"I wanna see what I heard three nights ago, Jen," he said, adding when Jensen hesitated, "Please?"

"Fuck, Jay. Yeah."

Jensen shifted back a little, resting his ass on Jared's thighs. One hand dug into Jared's shoulder, and the other – warm, callused, wonderful – wrapped around his cock. Jared's fingers tightened on Jensen's hips for a moment, eyes falling shut as he indulged in the sensation. The grip was perfect, fingers sure and strong, thumb on that spot right beneath the head - but mostly it was just Jensen, the person the hand belonged to.

Jared opened his eyes to see familiar green ones gazing down at him, one eyebrow slightly quirked in concern.

"Fuck, so good," Jared moaned, smiling a little. "Just been a while," he added, letting go of Jensen's hip with one hand and taking hold of the other man's erection. "So hot; you feel so good," he mused, watching Jensen's face.

The glaze came back to Jensen's eyes as Jared started to jerk him off, and a moment later he felt Jensen match his rhythm.

It didn't matter that it was slow, this glide of skin on skin, that the pull and twist and sweep of thumb in the wetness leaking out of their dicks never sped up, never changed. It was intense, like every nerve in Jared's body was sparking, catching fire, and mostly because of what Jensen fucking looked like rather than what his hand was doing to Jared's cock. His eyes were dilated with arousal and reflected need, lips parted and red, face and throat and chest flushing dark as they jerked each other off. Jensen's hips were rocking in a slow, unconscious glide that made Jared want to roll over and beg Jensen to fuck him but there was no time for that now.

It should have been weird, getting off like this with just a hand-job, but it was fucking fantastic.

Jensen laughed breathlessly, catching him out again. "It is weird."

"Yeah. But it's us." And it was – it was weird, it was them, and it just all slid into place when Jensen's eyes went all soft at Jared's words.

A simple sweep of Jensen's thumb over his slit finally brought Jared over the edge; he'd been so caught up in watching Jen that he hadn't been paying attention to how close he was. He spilled over Jensen's fist in short, intense bursts as release slammed through him, leaving Jared gasping, hands clenching reflexively on Jensen's body.

Apparently Jensen liked things a little rough, because he thrust hard into Jared's orgasm-tightened grip, working himself quickly. In moments he was adding his own come to the mess on Jared's stomach with a hoarse shout that Jared would never forget.

And hopefully would hear again and again. Soon, Jared thought. Right after a short nap...

Jensen rolled to the side, probably to clean up, but Jared was having none of that. He wrestled Jensen into a bear hug, letting go enough to call it a proper cuddle when he felt his friend relax and stay.

Something felt wrong, though.

He opened his eyes with reluctance. "Nap?" Jared asked hopefully.

Jensen untangled himself. "You should call Scott and let him know you're fine. He's probably been worried."

Mouth hanging open in disbelief, Jared sat up with an incredulous look.

Jensen handed him a wad of tissues and started reaching for his clothes. "Yeah. Well, go ahead and call him – it's not that late. I'll catch you tomorrow."

"Dude!" Jared protested.

"What?"

"You're just gonna leave?"

"Uh. Yeah," Jensen said, shrugging his clothes on as fast as possible. "Early call, you know. I'll see you in the van at seven. I'm gonna take your truck home, ok?"

Jared nodded in a daze, watching as Jensen shoved his socks into his coat pocket and all but ran away. He finally closed his mouth as he heard the door slam.

What the fuck had just happened?

He wiped absently at the sticky mess drying on his belly, then gave up and padded to the bathroom to start the water for a shower. He didn't think he'd ever felt more confused in his entire life.

*****

The last month had sucked, but sometimes things happen for a reason, his grandma always said. Jared had called Scott and while they hadn't exactly made up, they were at least cordial and would stay in touch. Jared was really damn sorry that his ex had HIV, but he still wasn't entirely ready to forgive him for putting Jared's life at risk, too. Not just yet. He might be easy-going but he wasn't a pushover and he didn't easily forgive being lied to. Or treated badly.

Which pretty much brought his thoughts back to Jensen. What the fuck had happened? One minute they were having pretty damn great sex and the next, Jensen was fucking running away from him. Like it meant nothing. And Jared knew damn well he hadn't been so drunk that he'd imagined those looks on Jensen's face; it had been more than just a random, casual hand-job.

And all that cuddling the last few weeks? And the way Jen had taken care of him, been there for him? That was way beyond best-friend behavior, too. Jared was beginning to think that maybe their friendship had been a bit beyond "just friends" for a quite a while. He'd just assumed it was somehow different because it was them and they were both freaks, but maybe it wasn't that at all.

Maybe it was because they were kind of, sort of, possibly in love with each other a little bit.

And that meant that Jen running away before the spunk on Jared's stomach had even cooled off was completely unacceptable.

The next day's scenes were all separate shoots. Aside from the morning ride over - where Jensen had looked far more hung-over and haggard than he had any right to look – and a mid-day break for food, they didn't have any time together. And neither of those were even close to private enough for him to corner Jensen and find out what was going on in that messed-up head of his.

When Jensen refused to come over at the end of the day for pizza and beer, giving some flimsy excuse, Jared started to get pissed. It wasn't like he was exactly subtle about the invitation, but still. They were going to talk about this, whether Jensen liked it or not.

A walk with the dogs, dinner, and a couple of beers later, Jared reached for his phone. Jen had been a lot more forthcoming over the phone so far; maybe it was easier for him to open up that way, even if it sucked that Jared wouldn't be able to see his facial expressions. Something was better than nothing, he thought with a shrug, and dialed Jensen's number.

"I don't wanna talk, Jay."

"Yeah, well, that's too bad because I do," Jared snorted. "I can't believe you just ran out on me last night, dude. Not cool."

Jensen sighed and mumbled a quiet apology.

"Look, I get that you freaked, ok? It's been a fucked up few weeks," he sighed, trying to be patient. "And I appreciate that you went through it with me. You were great, Jen. Really."

He paused for a second and then forced himself to go on; they couldn't avoid this forever. Not if they were going to stay buddies, at the very least.

"I thought the sex part was pretty great, too. I, uh, I think I'd like to be more than friends," he said, proud of himself that he'd only stuttered once.

There was no reaction from the other end.

Jared felt something in his chest sink a little. "If you don't, that's cool. I'm not like head-over-heels or anything," he added in a rush, thinking that he wasn't yet, anyway. He hoped. "But I would kinda like to give it a try."

Jensen cleared his throat and there was another long silence, but Jared forced himself to stay quiet and let Jen get out the words that he was struggling with.

Finally Jensen mumbled, "I haven't done this before."

"What?"

"This... guy thing. Gay thing. With, you know, feelings and shit."

Jared tried really hard not to laugh with relief. "You've just had sex with dudes before, you mean? No relationships or crushes?"

"Yeah. Mostly," Jensen said, and Jared could hear his voice start to relax a little.

"Mostly?" he probed.

"Maybe a few 'crushes,'" his friend admitted, clearly hating the word.

Jared got an evil grin on his face. "Do you have a crush on me?"

The way Jensen groaned, Jared could totally see him rolling his eyes in disgust. "You are such a dick."

"I'm a dick? You're the one who ran out of here without even putting your socks on, after what I thought was fairly decent sex. If I were a girl, I'd have my big brother come beat you up."

"If you were a girl you'd never tell your big brother you'd given some guy a hand-job," Jensen pointed out.

"Huh. Yeah, good point," Jared agreed.

"Unless maybe you were some kind of slut," Jensen teased.

"Are you calling me a slut?" he asked in an offended voice, trying not to laugh. Jensen was less courteous and made no effort to hold back his amusement. "Just because I touched your cock? Fine, see if I do it again."

"Aw, don't be like that, sweetheart," Jensen scolded. "I'll touch yours?"

"Damn right you will. In fact, I think you should come over and do a fuck of a lot more than just jerk me off this time," Jared teased.

"What, tonight?"

"Now. I want you," Jared said, voice changing from flirty and teasing to lustful.

To his delight, Jensen made a little moaning sound in reply. "Let me get my coat," he murmured in that low voice that Jared was learning meant his friend was turned on. "Be there in ten."

The click of the phone was their only good-bye and Jared hurried to tidy up the laundry on the floor, get out supplies, and change the sheets on the bed. He was just pushing the dogs into the backyard when Jensen arrived.

There was a moment of serious awkwardness once Jensen was inside. Neither of them seemed to know whether they should go to the living room and talk, or watch TV and make out, or just lunge at each other right there in the entrance way and start going at it.

"I brought your truck back," Jensen said, holding out the keys.

Jared grinned, took them, and tossed them over his shoulder as he reached to pull Jensen into a searing-hot kiss. Jensen let out an "Oof" as he was pushed up against the wall.

"Sorry. Gonna have to stop doing that to you," Jared apologized.

Jensen quirked an eyebrow. "What if I like it?"

The whimper Jared let out at that idea wasn't really that embarrassing, he thought, and didn't warrant quite so much laughter from Jensen. So he pulled Jen's hands up above his head and held them there, grinding their bodies together and kissing him until they were both hard and breathless.

"Kinky games later," Jensen gasped, letting his head fall back against the wall. "Bedroom now."

Jared smiled. "I'll hold you to that."

The journey down the hallway took a little longer than it should have, hindered by both of them stripping out of their clothes along the way. The mostly undressed themselves - though there were a few more breathless kisses, and a framed picture got knocked off the wall which they'd need to clean up later, before the dogs were let back inside. Much later, though. Like, half an hour at least.

And that might be pushing it, frankly, as turned on as Jared was.

Jensen appeared to be just as worked up, shoving him down onto the bed and giving him a single deep kiss before kneeling on the rug between his knees. The intensity of his gaze made Jared's breath catch.

"I really want to suck you." Mouth open, tongue wetting his lips, Jensen wrapped a hand around the base of Jared's cock and hovered, waiting for some sign of permission.

That Jared just couldn't give. The realization hit him like a bucket of cold water. "You've got to be kidding me; we just got tested!"

Jensen looked at him as if he was the village idiot. "Uh, yeah, exactly; we're both clean...?"

"No, Jen. They said I'd need to be tested again in another four years to be sure. Four years before I'll know for absolute certain that I'm safe from the last risky sex I had." He fumbled around with the box on the nightstand, getting out a condom.

"Oh for fuck's sake," Jensen said, sitting back on his heels. "Have you ever given a blowjob through a condom? Have you ever had a blowjob with a condom? Condoms and blowjobs do not fucking mix, man."

"Oh really?" Jared asked, stubborn streak making his voice a lot harder than he meant for it to sound.

Jensen held his gaze for a moment, meeting his challenge. It looked like they were at a stalemate until Jensen surprised him by shaking his head and reaching for the packet.

"Fine. What the fuck ever. If you want a blowjob through a condom, be my guest. It doesn't feel as good and it tastes nasty. Which end of that equation do you want to be on?" he asked, irritated.

There was a moment of silence while Jared thought about it. "Huh. Well, we'll never know 'til we try," he said with a shrug. "I'll do you," he offered, hoping to placate his friend somewhat.

Jensen rolled his eyes. "Can't think of when I was less excited about a blowjob," he grumbled as they switched positions.

Jared pretended he hadn't heard him. He fumbled with the wrapper, mostly because he couldn't tear his eyes away from Jensen's cock, long and hard and proof that Jen was quite excited enough. He rolled the condom on quickly and got to work.

Jensen leaned back, bracing himself on his arms, watching as Jared slowly licked up the side of his cock, smirking as he wrinkled his nose a little in distaste. Jen closed his eyes with a sigh as Jared sucked his cock fully inside the warm wetness of his mouth, swirled his tongue around it once or twice, and started to bob up and down.

Jensen seemed to be enjoying it, although not as much as Jared had hoped. Or, would have hoped, since most of Jared's attention was actually being taken up by his efforts not to gag. A few more slow slides up and down, then he gave up, gaining only one soft moan from Jensen for his efforts.

He sat back in defeat. "God, this is gross. I think my tongue is numb."

"Yeah, maybe you shouldn't have bought the pre-lubed kind," Jensen offered.

"Well, I didn't know," Jared huffed. He wrapped his hand around the base of Jensen's cock and tried again for a minute, sucking hard, before he quit.

"I can't do this; it tastes horrible. I want to taste you," he sulked.

He could see that Jensen was making an effort to not say "I told you so." What he said instead was, "Oh, quit pouting. Here, I'll try it on you," as he grabbed another condom from the box.

A moment later and they were repeating the same process. It was awful, which was all kinds of wrong because Jensen's mouth was on his cock and how could that be anything short of fantastic? Jared sighed and pushed Jen's head away. How had something he'd wanted for long gotten so fucked up?

"Just stop. I can hardly feel anything," he sighed.

Jensen gave him a smug look. "Fine by me," he said, crawling back onto the bed. "So what do you want to do?"

"I don't know!" Jared said, throwing his arm over his eyes and pouting. "I just want to get off."

He heard Jensen make an irritated noise. "You're going to have to figure this out, Jay."

Jared peeked at him from under his arm. "You're willing to risk it?" he asked in a quiet voice.

Jensen's hand took hold of his own and pulled his arm away from his face.

Holding his gaze, Jensen answered: "Yeah."

"But I'm the guy most likely to be positive. You're more at risk here," Jared pointed out.

Jensen shrugged. "It's like riding a motorcycle, man. You try to be reasonable and take precautions but I'm not gonna live my life avoiding everything that might have even an element of danger."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. I mean, I trust you."

The look in Jensen's eyes made something wiggly happen in Jared's chest. Something scary but wonderful, that he didn't want to name just yet. There was really only one way to deal with such a sappy feeling.

"Aww! You're just the sweetest thing!" he gushed with a big goofy grin.

"Oh God, I hate you sometimes," Jensen groaned.

Jared laughed and crawled on top of him, wrestling a bit as Jensen struggled half-heartedly. Their naked bodies in intimate contact again brought the mood back, and Jared shifted, moving until his lips met Jensen's. This time their kisses were slow and deep, full of all the words they didn't need to say, and far more eloquent.

When they were forced to break for breath, Jared moved back far enough to see Jensen's face. Their eyes met for a long moment. Jared's lips curved up a little as he nodded. "Ok then. Screw it – let's just fuck."

"Atta boy," Jensen grinned back at him. "How do you wanna do this?"

"Well, since your ass is still a cherry and all, and I don't think I can stand to drag this out any longer than it's already gone on..." he teased, "I think I want your dick up my ass and I wanna ride you until you holler."

The change in Jensen's eyes was gratifying, going dark with lust in an instant. There was no hesitance as he reached for the bottle of lube and pressed it into Jared's hands.

"Gonna make me do it, you lazy bastard?"

Jensen's lips curved into a slight smile. "I wanna watch you."

Somehow that was about a million times sexier than any reply Jared could have thought of and Goddamn, this man was so sexy he took Jared's breath away sometimes.

"The feeling's definitely mutual," Jensen said, letting Jared know he was babbling out loud again.

He couldn't think of a comeback for that, especially not since his slick fingers were pressing into his hole, opening himself up. Jensen's hands were skating across his hips, his thighs, his abs, almost tickling but not quite. Jared wiggled in another finger, going too fast and it burned but he didn't want to wait and didn't care. Without trying he grazed the spot inside that made him groan, head falling back as his eyes closed involuntarily.

Jensen made a noise in return, hands gripping hard, possibly leaving bruises as he fought for control. "Fuck, that's hot. You about ready?"

Jared let a slow smile spread across his face. Without a word he lifted up onto his knees, grabbed Jensen's cock, and sat down on it. It was a slow, smooth movement - controlled, but so inevitably right that it felt like something fierce. Like freedom, or Fate.

And maybe Jared was being overly emotional about this but it'd been a long time since he'd had a cock up his ass and this was Jensen and it was so good. He slid all the way down, savoring every bit of the stretch and burn, letting himself adjust to the feeling of fullness.

His eyes opened to see Jensen, face tense, sweat making his skin glisten. "You ok?" he asked in a voice ragged with effort.

"So much better than ok," Jared moaned, leaning forward to brace his hands beside Jensen's shoulders. He lifted off in a slow glide, then settled back down, letting Jensen thrust up, and sharing his appreciation with a low groan.

In no time at all they were racing towards the finish, Jen's hand wrapping around Jared's cock, disposing of the forgotten condom, then stroking in the same rhythm that his hips jerked upward. When their thrusts started to get shallow and short, little snapping movements, Jensen ran his hands up Jared's chest, thumbing his nipples hard until he couldn't take it anymore and pushed one back down to his cock.

"Like that, don't stop," he begged, falling forward to mouth at Jensen's neck sloppily. So close, so fucking close, and all he needed was just a little more, he thought, desperate noises breaking free of his throat.

"Come on, Jay, do it. Wanna feel you come for me. Come on my cock. Shoot your load all over my chest," Jensen growled.

Yeah, that was it – with one last rock down, he was following Jensen's orders and shuddering through a momentous orgasm as Jensen's hand milked him dry.

He heard rather than felt Jensen come moments later, bellowing, "Fuck, Yes, Jared," in a way that made a bit more dribble out of Jared's exhausted dick. They lay for a few moments, letting each other's breathing smooth out, savoring the last tremors, until it started to get uncomfortable and sticky.

"Shower?"

Jensen nodded, the movement brushing his stubble against Jared's. They untangled, laughing a little at the mess they'd made of each other, eyes trading looks of affection that went unspoken. For now, anyway.

There was no rush, no pressing need to say anything.

The world looked a little different somehow, Jared mused while he adjusted the temperature as Jen dealt with the condoms. He climbed into the shower and let it wash away not only the sweat and spunk, but the last of the tension and horrific worry of the last few weeks. He closed his eyes and tipped his head back to let the water stream over his face, and felt the air move as Jensen joined him.

He felt clean, reborn. Free of the drama, like it had been some hugely momentous life event. And it had been, for him. "A near-death experience," he said aloud.

Jensen pressed up against him, planting a soft kiss on his lips. "Near-life."

"Yeah," Jared grinned, wrapping his arms around his best friend and feeling happiness settle deep inside him, back where it belonged. "A near-life experience."

**end**




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